I enjoy being outdoors, mowing, and doing landscaping. I also love cooking and hosting large dinner parties. My name is Pamela, and I live in North Carolina. I have small cell lung cancer.
Before cancer, life was going well. I was healthy and had just bought a farmhouse, which I thought would keep me busy. In early December 2011, I started feeling different. I could mow and feel fine at the time, but an hour later, I would have significant abdominal pain. One day at work, I leaned into a dining chair, and suddenly my right lung felt excruciating pain.
I visited my family doctor, who recommended an X-ray that same night. I sensed something was wrong when the technician told me to take care of myself and said, “God bless you.” After a biopsy, my doctor confirmed that I had stage four lung cancer. It was small cell lung cancer, which is more aggressive than non-small cell. They explained there was a standard treatment, but no specialized options. I felt stunned and emotionally distant, as if I was being written off. I did not feel hopeful.
I underwent an intensive treatment schedule. Every morning for about five weeks, including weekends, I received chemotherapy. After chemo, I would go for radiation, then head to work, return in the afternoon for more radiation, and finally go home. When the treatment ended, I felt like things were under control and believed I had my life back.
Over time, I learned about the anxiety that comes with regular scans every three months. This feeling, often called “scanxiety,” can make you physically unwell days before the appointment. It also makes it difficult to plan anything in advance because the outcome is uncertain. Because of this, I realized I didn’t fully have my life back.
I also had to face stigma. Some people assumed I was responsible for my illness. Despite that, I continued working and felt relatively healthy again. However, five years later, I began to feel unwell. A brain scan revealed that the cancer had metastasized to my brain. This news was even more devastating than the initial diagnosis. I had believed I had overcome it.
I was told the condition could affect my cognitive abilities and balance. For a long time, people perceived me as slow. I became more withdrawn and spoke less because I was afraid of making mistakes. Eventually, I was offered another treatment program. It took time, but I gradually regained some stability. I continue to undergo scans every three months.
When I speak to groups or advocate, I share my experience openly. I explain that small cell lung cancer is serious and often associated with a short prognosis, yet I have lived with it for 11 years. I emphasize the importance of continuing forward and coming to terms with the diagnosis.
Advocacy has become very important to me. Patients need encouragement, especially from people outside their immediate family, so they can speak freely. This support plays a significant role in maintaining hope.
I hope new treatments will be developed soon, and I would like to live to see that progress. If not, I hope that my advocacy and the talks I have given have helped someone. That is my greatest hope.
