I vividly remember getting the diagnosis of cancer. I remember where I was, the day, the time — everything about it. It is a very frightening experience.
I’m John Lynch. I’m a urologist specializing in treating men with prostate cancer. I serve as Chairman of the Department of Urology at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital in Washington, DC, and as Director of the Prostate Cancer Center within the Lombardi Comprehensive Cancer Center. Not only do I treat men with prostate cancer, but I too was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2002.
Finding myself on the other side of the patient–doctor dynamic while dealing with a critical health issue impacted me greatly. As a patient with prostate cancer, I was able to understand on a very personal level the range of emotions my patients experience throughout their journey with this disease — the questions, the fear, the anxiety about what the future might hold, and even the hope and determination to win the battle against prostate cancer.
I invite you to listen to the patient testimonials that follow. These are real men dealing with the real consequences of prostate cancer. While each man’s journey is unique, there are common experiences — and, as you will see, opportunities for us as healthcare providers to make a significant impact on their overall experience.
Getting a cancer diagnosis is a strange, almost surreal event. Some men say they didn’t believe their doctor at first. There was no way to explain how it felt. One man described feeling like he was the only person in the world with that problem. “How can I have prostate cancer? What happens next? What do we do now? Did something happen to me to cause this? Is my life going to be cut short? Am I going to die — and not someday, but soon?”
When you hear the word cancer, that’s all you hear. You focus inward and think the worst. One man said he felt like the word “cancer” was blazed across his forehead — that he was suddenly somebody different. Another described it as being on a downhill spiral, unable to turn around, as though all you could do was buy small blocks of time. You have cancer — and nothing else seems to matter.
One of the hardest things for men when they find out they have prostate cancer is that they often don’t want to talk about it. We’re men. We tend not to listen. We tend to think we’re invincible. We don’t like going to the doctor, and often we don’t. Then suddenly a doctor is speaking in terms we don’t understand. Words like “oncology” may be completely unfamiliar. The information comes fast and in overwhelming amounts. Much of it goes right over your head.
That’s why it’s so important to have someone with you — someone who can listen, take notes, and be a resource later. Many men have said they would have missed critical parts of the conversation without their spouse or partner present. In fact, some institutions, like Johns Hopkins University, strongly encourage patients to bring someone with them because it is so easy to become overwhelmed.
There is an entire world of resources available. The information exists, but it helps tremendously when doctors guide patients toward reliable sources. It should not fall entirely on the patient to find answers alone. People need information, but they also need guidance.
Above all, many men say what they wanted most at diagnosis was someone to talk to. They wanted frank conversations about likely outcomes over time. “Tell me what it’s like. Where’s the hope?” If a physician shows that they care and genuinely want to help, that reinforces the sense that the patient is in good hands and on the right track.
It matters when a doctor sits down, eye to eye, instead of standing over a patient. It matters when the relationship feels like more than just a surgery and a brief follow-up. Patients feel the difference when a physician connects with them — not just as a medical case, but as a human being. It comes from having a heart not only for the practice of medicine, but for the patient. When that happens, patients feel that the doctor is on their side and that together they are facing the disease.
It is a blessing to have a doctor who walks alongside you. There is a tremendous amount to learn, and no one has to go through it alone. Many men find comfort in speaking with someone who has already gone through the procedure — someone who can answer the hard questions in a way only another patient can.
When you have cancer, it is not just you who has it. It affects your entire family and everyone close to you. But prostate cancer is a disease we can fight. You only get one chance to approach it correctly — there is no reset button. At the same time, knowing you are not alone makes a powerful difference. Whether someone has two months, two years, or twenty years ahead, there is still the opportunity to help others by sharing the journey they have walked.
A prostate cancer diagnosis is life-altering for a man. Patients need a doctor with strong clinical knowledge, but they also need to know that we support them and their loved ones. They need to know we are there to answer their questions, to listen to their fears, and to care deeply about their well-being. Above all, they need to know they have a committed partner walking beside them on their prostate cancer journey.
Survivors: Men with Prostate Cancer Share their Stories
Re: Survivors: Men with Prostate Cancer Share their Stories
Dr. Lynch, your perspective as both physician and patient is profoundly powerful. At MedStar Georgetown University Hospital and within Lombardi Comprehensive Cancer Center, your empathy clearly shapes care. Sharing vulnerability alongside expertise reassures men they’re not alone—and that partnership, compassion, and clear guidance matter just as much as treatment itself.
